#16: Closet Confessional with Jennifer Cook, buyer and writer of Mom Friend
On perfecting Brooklyn mom style, finding community on Substack, and the blessing and curse of fashion industry access.
I originally met
at an event hosted by of Long Live and , writer of The Purse, about money and fashion (a topic that is Future Reference catnip). We instantly bonded over our love of living in Brooklyn (we share a favorite bakery), the trials and tribulations of working in Soho, and the pains of resale.Jennifer is the writer of Mom Friend, a newsletter at the intersection of fashion and motherhood, but also a retail veteran with a career spanning retail, wholesale, merchandising, and buying. I don’t have kids, but somehow her writing makes me want to hang with the fashionable moms at Space Club. Her takes on fashion are down-to-earth and approachable, full of tips for finding quality pieces and emerging brands. More recently she launched a new newsletter shopkeep, where she writes a buyer’s perspective from behind the scenes in retail - full of runway recaps and the inner workings of how the fashion industry operates.
In this confessional we chat about the evolution of her style since motherhood, how she thinks about growing a community on Substack, and what she’s buying and selling these days. Enjoy!
Name: Jennifer Cook
Where did you grow up and where are you living now?
I grew up in the suburbs of Chicago, did brief stints in Ohio, Colorado, Arizona, and Paris, and have now made Brooklyn, New York my home.
You are very much a multi-hyphenate between writing Mom Friend, a career in buying and merchandising, and even being a part-time yoga instructor. Tell us a bit about how you started your journey on Substack.
I started my Substack during a period of change in my life - we were in the process of moving, I was starting a new job, I was deep in early motherhood - and I wanted an outlet for myself to work through some of that change and general feelings about motherhood. It’s morphed a little throughout the last year, but that general premise is still there. These days I talk a lot more about personal style and shopping, but all of that is still rooted in the fact that I’m a working mother in New York City - no small feat, if I do say so myself!
I also realized over the last couple of years that I wanted something of my own. Starting a business felt too daunting (and expensive) so Substack felt like a great opportunity to create something for myself, no one else, and really have that personal creative outlet that wasn’t tied to family or work.
Now, of course, I’m in a period of stability - we’re settled in our new place, I’ve been in my job for a year, and although motherhood brings with it something new every day, I feel like I’ve finally found a rhythm within it. That’s allowed me to really commit to the platform, even launching a second newsletter, and finding more time to dig in to what I really want it to be!
You’ve been writing Mom Friend for over a year! What piece you’re especially proud of or one you enjoyed writing the most?
I always feel proud of the personal things, because I think there is something special about putting yourself out there and being vulnerable. But I also am proud of my “How to Dress Like a Brooklyn Mom” posts because they have inspired so many from moms in other locales doing the same - and it’s so fun to watch!!
Also, I recently did a post on “playground pants” that was incredibly fun, even though it made me want to shop a lot. So yeah, basically all of it. Haha. Although looking back, I will say some of my very early posts are so funny to read now. Not that I’m not proud of them, but it was clear I had no idea what the fuck I was doing. (Spoiler alert: still don’t!!!)
When/where/how do you shop these days?
I feel really fortunate to be able to say that I do most of my shopping through or at work. Through my buying trips and appointments I get to see what’s coming down the pipeline for the next season, and can start planning my wardrobe and purchases about six months in advance, and I’ll admit that I do a lot of pre-ordering for myself through the brands we work with at the store. It’s a big perk of the job that I am able to do this, and I certainly don’t take it for granted! I’ll of course fill in over the season and throughout the year with pieces here and there, but a lot of my fall shopping has already been done through work!
Otherwise, my office is in Soho, NYC, which is basically shopping mecca, and I spend a lot of time perusing stores in the neighborhood during lunch hours and for market research. It’s important for me, in my job, to have an eye on not just what is trending from a product standpoint, but also how shops are displaying merchandise, what the vibes are like, and paying attention to consumer behavior. It means I spend a lot of time in stores around the area, and therefore I can’t always help myself when I see something I like!
Some favorites I always find myself coming back to in the neighborhood are: COS, Buck Mason, Oroboro, Toast, No 6, Gem Home, Everlane, Every Other Thursday, Sezane and Uniqlo. I rarely buy from most of these (although I can’t seem to walk out of Uniqlo empty handed) but they are really fun to peruse and get inspired by.
What are the last three things you bought?
Can I change this to last four things? (Our answer, of course). At time of writing, my most recent purchase was this pair of baggy shorts from the Everlane sale. Prior to that, I shopped the COS sale and bought these pinstripe baggy shorts, this pink linen blend tank, and this white merino tee.
What’s something you’re selling and why?
A Frankie Shop button down, Maska linen dress, and a few pairs of jeans.
I also have a pile of old Chimala jeans (from my time working with them that I need to sell but it breaks my heart to do so and therefore they are just collecting dust under my bed. I love them so much, and I love Chimala (and the woman behind the brand) so I hate to let them go, but after the baby my body has changed drastically, and I just don’t envision a world in which they ever fit again. I will get around to taking measurements and pictures and they will go immediately on to Future Reference!!
How has your approach to building a wardrobe changed over the years? Has that shifted since becoming a mom?
It’s changed since becoming a mom, for sure - I now spend a lot more time thinking about materials and care and prioritize comfort over pretty much everything these days - but it’s also changed a lot as my job has changed, and I think that is actually a bigger factor than motherhood, for me at least. But of course, it’s nearly impossible to separate the two, since motherhood happened at a time when my career shifted, so they are pretty inexorable.
I used to work on the wholesale side of the industry, often working for a single brand or representing a few. I always felt like I had to dress “on brand” and in the brands that I was representing, so my style sort of morphed into whatever I was working with at the time (let’s also remember these jobs come with allowances and discounts, so that helped).
As I moved away from wholesale and into buying, the world kind of opened up for me, style wise. I no longer feel beholden to a brand or style, and although I still retain access to some discounts and allowances, I feel more free to play around with my personal style. Of course, this is both a blessing and a curse, as it’s the paradox of choice here - there is so much good stuff out there in the market and I am lucky to be exposed to a lot of it. It makes me want a ton and I find myself really having to be discerning over what fits in my wardrobe and life - which is where the motherhood aspect comes in. I can’t just jump on every piece I want, because the things I buy and wear still need to fit into my lifestyle - lots of walking, lots of sitting, lots of playing, lots of food and toddler snot.
What's your philosophy on wardrobe curation versus collection?
There’s a time and a place for both, but I tend to favor curation over collection.
Clothes are meant to be worn and lived in and loved, and a curated closet lends itself to that more than a collected one, in my opinion.
Not that there isn’t a time and place to collect a few items here and there - clothes are objects that can contain meaning, and I think that’s really special. But if curation is the focus, you will be less precious about parting with items that no longer serve you.
What's one piece of advice you'd give to someone looking to be happier with their closet?
Don’t be afraid of purging. I used to be a little bit of a hoarder, and would end up just staring at everything I owned all the time feeling sad about things that no longer fit or worked for my lifestyle. Once I started feeling comfortable parting with stuff, it made a huge difference.
That’s not to say there aren’t a couple things I wish I’d held onto, and that’s not to say I have gotten rid of every single thing I should - my system isn’t perfect - but it does help to really streamline and focus on what works for you in this season of life. They’re just clothes after all, you know?
How do you feel about the idea of having a personal resale assistant?
Oh my god I love it, as long as it/they can also take pictures and measurements for me!! I would resell so much more if I didn’t have to spend hours snapping pics and writing descriptions. I am in an “outsource what you can” phase of life and that is absolutely something I would outsource.
I love that Future Reference does a lot of the legwork for me. I used to only list things on Poshmark because the idea of using multiple platforms was so unappealing to me - my time is limited, I can’t spend all day uploading images and descriptions! Being able to import my Poshmark closet to Future Reference has been a game changer. Now I just need to remember to choose digital receipts when shopping…
Quick hits:
Brand that is criminally underrated: Uniqlo. I know, I know, everyone “loves” it when you bring it up, but have you been recently? It’s GREAT.
Piece you have been searching for for years: Khaite Albi jeans that are in my budget
Best secondhand find: I found a genuine oversized men’s leather motorcycle jacket for $40 and although I very rarely wear it, I love it so much
Biggest closet regret: I sold a few special pieces from brands I worked with early in my career, both which are now defunct. I wish I would have held on to at least one or two items from each, for memories sake.
Favorite place to shop: Any bookstore
On the weekend you can find me …at Fort Greene park with my 2 year old.
 | A guest post by
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It’s always so great to learn more about writers like Jennifer and I second her love of Uniqlo!
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